★ ★ ★ ★ ★
I wasn’t planning on reviewing this book. But then I accidentally got obsessed. It happens more frequently than I like to admit. Bloodlines by Richelle Mead sortof happened to me in a book store. I fell into the YA section and it got stuck to my hand. I swear. Bloodlines is a spin off from Vampire Academy. Which I haven’t actually read. I know, the audacity of me. I may as well go drink some hot water and eat a teabag. Or mop the kitchen floor then make fried rice (am a violent stirrer). But it wasn’t so bad. I entered the book, missing a lot of backstory and info dumping. Mead knows me though. She thought, ‘this bitch hasn’t even read Vampire Academy. I best hold her hand and walk her through the world like an infant.’ Thanks Mead, mucho appreciato. Yeah I still only know English.
Sydney Sage is an alchemist (like a funky magical chemist) and she has face tattoos which is totally awesome. But don’t be fooled. Sydney is not cool. She is a straight-edge, cardigan-wearing, vampire-judging, teacher’s pet. And I love her. She’s puts me to shame on got-her-shit-togetherness. She is 18 and has to go back to high school (shudder), look after some fools, pretend to learn from some other fools, and take orders from – you guessed it – fools. At pretty much every turn I want to punch a character in the throat.
Honestly I had the most violent Hunger Game-ish dreams after reading this one night. If you are yet to experience Hunger Games dreams, I strongly encourage it. I usually carry two short swords in such dreams and am a spinning fury of blades. Anyway all the frustration I had kept stored away for a rainy day (by rainy I mean, a day where I am attacked and may need violence) came to the surface. Nothing makes me more livid then when people (including myself) have to take orders from utter fucktrumpets. And that is all Sydney does. She really doesn’t have much of a choice, considering the dominant fool is her father. Every time something particularly growl-inducing happens I have to put my book down and crack my fingers, or something equally as menacing. This lets the fictional character know that they wouldn’t get the same reaction from me. I don’t think Mr Sage will be crossing me anytime soon. Fear… and being 2D will keep him at bay.
As promised, I put in my favourite quotes in the book. But no such wisdom struck me in this one. However. There is a moment when Sydney, ever the do-gooder snaps and puts her ‘friends’ in their place.
“You know what? I kindof feel that way too. Because as far as I can tell, I’m the only one in this group behaving like an adult. You think I’m out there having fun? All I’m doing is babysitting and cleaning up your messes.”
p. 271, Sydney Sage (Bloodlines)
It doesn’t seem that harsh, but considering how restrained and perfectly lovely she is to these nitwits, I felt like giving her a hefty nod of approval. Way to stand up for yourself…. Now to deliver a slightly worse speech to your father… I don’t know if it was the sound of GTA5 in the background, or my lack of sun vitamins lately, but I often discovered myself yelling into the pages “FUCK! Just kill him Sydney! No one will miss this lummox. Just bite his damn face off, I bet it’s full of protein and it will still be the most useful thing he will ever do in his life.” Dearest boyfriend has learnt to be less concerned by these outbursts.
Anyway five stars. Fan-girling hard over this new series!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
as usual, images are sourced from tumblr