★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Might I start by saying – I cannot believe this is the book who won Good Reads Book of 2014.
I guess my age is showing when I say I did not particularly enjoy this book. It’s a tale of a middle aged woman who is having some boring marital troubles. I should have listened to my gut instinct when it told be ‘anyone with a name like Rainbow Rowell will not be capable of writing anything that isn’t cutesy.’ What a waste of my third book of the year.
There is wishy washy love triangle between Seth, Georgie, and Neal (ugliest name ever) and it was just awful. I didn’t ship Seth, the long term best friend who loved her for yours, I didn’t ship her husband whom she had two children with. I was rooting for her to go back to her job and accelerate her career. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate love, or think of it as a second class citizen, I just really don’t care for Georgie’s love life. She’s been married to this fellow for what 15 years? 20 years? Congratulations on making up with your husband after a fight – but it’s nothing to write home about. Or in my case, write online about. Except it is because I am. But only for your sake. You need the truth. The internet is lying to you about Landline.
Georgie spent the book telling us how obsessed she was with work, then proceeded to turn up late every day, not work at all when she went, and leave early. Then at the end SPOILER, ignore her work and dream job entirely to do an 80’s rom-com dash to the airport. Will someone hold my hair back while I throw up the averageness of this book? She is the funniest woman in the world (apparently) yet I didn’t laugh once. She doesn’t get enough sleep, yet sleeps till 12 every day. Her last name is McCool yet she is so VERY FAR FROOM COOL. Everything I was lead to believe was the opposite.
I rarely write a review of a book I didn’t enjoy, but after all the hype and all the drama of landline online, and the clearly falsified Goodreads stance, I felt I should probably let you, dear reader, know the truth. It’s fairly shit. Maybe if you have two children, and a mopey husband you will find this relatable and heartening, but it made me feel murderous and consider actually murdering someone just so I know my life will never turn into this.
I need to be consolidated. I need angry chocolate. And I need angry TV.