In Sickness and in Sickness Only

So I have loved lists from the dawn of time. If I need to do anything, I will first have to write a list. Pro’s and con’s lists, things to read lists, grocery lists, goals lists, and best of all: blog lists. Largely to the embarrassment provided by the last list fiasco, I have deemed it reasonable, even necessary to write another one.

tumblr_inline_n5js9hsODb1qafrh6Tuesday’s excuse my largely due to a bad-ass sickness, maybe a plague, maybe a cold, no one really knows. Except me – defs a plague. This weekend, us Australian’s were granted a public holiday for Labour Day. Labour day is pretty much an anniversary of when we brought in an 8 hour working day, as opposed to the 12 hour charmers that Australians experienced prior. Unless you’re a bartender. 12 hours for you still – and no public holiday. Ha.

Anyhow. I was granted my first public holiday since the beginning of time and I promptly went a caught the plague.  That weekend, I saw nought but the ceiling of my lounge room, the ceiling of my bedroom, and let’s be honest, the inside of the fridge as well. Sickness or not, I shall be eating 3-6 meals a day.

But. I was well enough to go to work on Tuesday. For those of you wanting Amy’s Miracle Cure for the plague, see the following steps I took to get well in time for another week of work.

  1. Watch The Mindy Project

Mindy is essentially an Indian Bridget Jones. In the last two minutes (yes I’m watching as I write this, tumblr_nd3eb5LlsD1s8kjvlo1_500both of these things happened:

  • “Stop writing a suicide note” <rips> “Hey! I was contesting a jay walking ticket”.
  • “You said that six hours ago.” “Six hours ago is a lifetime for some bugs.”

Who thinks of these things? So much has been put into perspective. I’ve been looking at my life all wrong. I need to wear more sparkly tops, buy more expensive bath wash, and I need to clean my ceiling…

  1. Doughnut porn.

I came across this fabulous Tumblr page whilst searching for a picture for my last post and I accidentally spent an hour here. I don’t even like doughnuts that much. But we’re getting side-tracked. Dammit guys concentrate.

Realise tissues are way too soft and switch back to toilet paper, only to run out of toilet paper and have to use tissues for toilet paper.

Yeah, not your average complaint. But seriously, after living with tissues, branded: a la toilet paper, the amount of softness in your regular eucalyptus tissue is just ridiculous. I feel like I’m blowing my nose into flour. Not very clean.

Ate 3 different types of orange flavoured medicine.

How fucking disgusting is orange flavouring? Do they even know what orange tastes like? Do they make it ‘orange’ flavoured to make us think that it is healthier! When I am fully recovered and can voice the actual outrage I possess – I will probably be able to write it in capitals.

Quick flash back to Mindy Project

“Can we trade lines, because that lady just asked to buy my penis”, <scoff> “ha, she doesn’t have any money.”

I hope my Mother doesn’t read this, she will be furious at my absence of actual cures. Sorry Mum.

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