Keep it in your pants readers

So this week’s Top Ten Tuesday from the Broke and the Bookish was actually the top ten underrated authors of a genre. But I’m tired of gushing over books. So I figured I would instead give you the top ten most overrated authors in pop-literature. Not to say I didn’t like these books, just that everyone else liked them too much. Keep it in your pants guys.

1. E.L. James

Content aside, 50 Shades of Grey was the most poorly written book, ever to crack this level of popularity. Ornately engraved twice in ONE SENTENCE. It would honestly take effort to be this terrible. As for its popularity… I just don’t know. I’ve not read much (any) erotica so I really can’t compare it to anything.  Some things should remain fan fiction.

2. Matthew Rielly

Throughout my teenage years I was swamped by humans that thought that because I like to read – I like to read all words of all levels of terribleness and would recommend this talentless chap to me. I gave him a shot. There were a few books I started but grew so angry that often times I could not get past the first chapter. This author is just a screen writer dallying as a novelist until one of his books gets made into another terrible, new-style-Tom-Cruse-esque-impossible-by-laws-of-physics-action-thriller-horror-drama-el-crappo-film.

3. Veronica Roth

Divergent had potential coming out of its ears. Though it leaked from the book after the first chapter. I don’t know if it was just the blasé way in which it was written, or my comparing it to Scott Westerfelds, Uglies. It just fell woefully short.

4. James Patterson

I got into reading Alex Cross novels when I was fourteen. Some might say a bit young to be reading crime-thrillers. It was halfway through the third tale when I realised I was predicting exactly what was going to happen next. Patterson just slots new names into an old template and publishes these bad boys annually. Also… Alex Cross? Why don’t you just name him Jesus Christ and be done with it.

5. Stephanie Meyer

 No overrated book list would be complete without the standard works of fiction of Miss Stephanie Meyer’s dream boyfriend. I was raised in a town tucked away from the mass Twilight following, so I read the books blissfully unaware of its popularity. I thought it was okay, if a bit anti-feministic. Now it has gotten to the stage where there are no shades of grey (pun intended), you either love or hate this book. PICK A SIDE OR BE DAMNED!

6. John Green

I base this solely on The Fault in our Stars. I blame the masses for stealing my sense of wonder and encouraging a fully underwhelming read. The enthusiasm the Young Adult population had for this book was at complete odds with the reality. It’s a great little story. But that’s what it should have remained.

7. Yann Martel

Life of Pi was a quaint little book, full of philosophy and quiet wonderment that should have remained in solitude to be read by a few, and appreciated by fewer. I read it and thought, I can’t believe some idiot wants to make this into a movie. What a terrible, terrible idea. A man and a tiger on a boat for a million days. A stranded volley ball would be more interesting.

8. Christos Tsiolkos

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but in Australia we were figuratively slapped with The Slap. It was like someone bribed the universities to endorse it, then blackmailed the bookstores to display ONLY THIS BOOK in their windows then sat back to watch the entirety of Australia read it and pronounce it… Okay.

9. C. S. Lewis

I realise Narnia is a bit old for pop lit now, but it was pop lit way back when. I had it read to me when I was in third grade by Mrs. Fuller. I loved it. I re-read it again when I was eighteen – perhaps the biggest mistake to date of my literary career. The religious undertones (over-tones more like) are so prevalent in this series it ruins the story. Seriously, Susan couldn’t go back to Narnia (heaven) because she started wearing lipstick. My god.

10. Suzanne Collins

There I said it. I was a Hunger Games junkie when I read the first book. My favourite nightmares stem from being in the arena. I held up my district-respect-gurl fingers at the premier at my local cinema. Even I have to admit to myself – the next book, Catching Fire, fucked up. There is no way to kindly describe my disappointment. There were moments of extraordinary blankness. Do you know what I mean? A scene that should have been chock-a-block with emotions, was left as curiously unspoken, or spoken of in past tense, like Collins was rushing to get it out.

Still link up your TTT’s though. I do need positivity in my life. I’m not an animal!