The last three days I have experienced an unsettling realisation that I’m actually an idiot. Every now and then we (as individuals of the human race) do something stupid. We commit it, hide it, forget it. This time, my idiocy quota needed to be filled before the end of the month – in quick succession.
You know the song ‘Hey Ya’ by Outkast? I was listening to some acoustic version of this (not as good) and I realised something about the lyric: “shake it like a Polaroid picture”. It hit me like a third tequila shot. You shake Polaroid pictures to develop them. Oh my god. It only took a terrible choice of acoustic cover and 11 years to realise. What else have I been singing mindlessly! In my defence – I have never seen the film clip where they apparently shake Polaroid pictures.
I drank off milk in my coffee. I drank the entire cup. Felt a little ill. THEN. Looked at the date of the milk. I’m ashamed to say I just put the milk back in the fridge because the rubbish bin was full. We’ve all been there. And I don’t live with my mum so I have no one to make sure I keep on top of that stuff. Sometimes I have ice cream for dinner and no one tells me off.
I pride myself on being pretty word savvy. I’m no Oxford dictionary but I can manipulate myself through a conversation well. So please would someone explain to me why I have never won a game of Scrabble? For the past week or so I have battled my boyfriend (one who never reads) through a game, at least once a night. There is only so many times I can claim a hand of vowels – or three ‘q’s and not a ‘u’ in sight. Simply put – he is just better than me. I am Castle so hard in this gif.
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